God is always with you
*This story may be hard to read for those who have experienced child loss.
I can’t remember how I found The JOY FM, but shortly after I started listening, my husband Joey and I became pregnant with twin girls, Aria and Graysen. We were so excited as this came a few months after miscarrying our first pregnancy.
During a routine ultrasound, Graysen was diagnosed with spina bifida. I prayed for God to give us a miracle and heal Graysen. A song on The JOY FM by Danny Gokey called “Hope in Front of Me” gave me light and hope when I was surrounded by darkness and hopelessness.
At around 34 weeks pregnant, I was hospitalized due to Graysen having an abnormal heartbeat. During an ultrasound, Graysen’s heartbeat began rapidly declining. Fear set in as a plethora of voices began yelling out commands and medical lingo I couldn’t quite understand and I was put to sleep for an emergency C-section. When I woke, Joey gave me the exciting news that Aria was healthy and thriving followed by the devastating news that Graysen had passed away.
How can someone be so happy and so sad all at the same time? Graysen was brought into the room with Aria so we could spend some time with her before they took her away. We held her and kissed her.
My faith was shaken. I remember questioning why God would let this happen. I was confused by my emotions; happy and full of love for Aria, sad and mad about the loss of Graysen. It was a very low point for me and pure torture every time I saw a set of twins. But over time with lots of prayers, I began to realize God wasn’t to blame. Instead, God had healed Graysen. She is perfect and healthy and waiting to hug and kiss us when we join her in heaven. I realized God was in the trenches with me, holding me, never leaving my side. He truly does all things for good and makes beauty from ashes, even when our faith wavers.
I pray for families dealing with the loss of a loved one. I know the immeasurable sadness and sorrow that is being endured but always know you are not alone. GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU. Since that time, God has blessed us with our beautiful family including Aria, Christian, and Jordan.
Photos for Vicky
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