His Grace is Sufficient
I have been diagnosed with osteoarthritis, bursitis and fibromyalgia. I tell you that every day I have terrible pain. And I don’t wanna lie…I cry a lot because there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t get up in pain. However, as hard as my pain is to deal with, it was my emotional pain that became unbearable.
I was going through a difficult divorce and then my father and mother both died in a very short period of time. The emotional pain of the loss of those relationships was the catalyst for a deep depression to set in. I became angry with God and blamed Him for everything. I just kept feeling that I was honoring God and loving God and then He did this to me.
I would often go straight to my room after work, shut the blinds, turn off the lights and sit in complete darkness. I had given up. I decided to stop going to church, but that solved nothing because my issues were still there. One day in my complete despair and bitterness, I came to a point where I had to actually face myself and cry out to God.
I knew I had to get back in church but I was ashamed and afraid of what people might think since I hadn’t attended in so long. I took that first step back to church and I remember how I was welcomed with hugs and “I love you” and ”We missed you”. Every hug felt like the Lord embracing me. I came to realize that God was always faithful and pursuing me even when I wasn’t pursuing Him. It was God who gave me the strength to live each day regardless of my circumstances.
My pain is still there but now I start my morning with the song, “Lord I need you, every hour I need you…” I sing this song over and over to get through my day. I know that one day I will be in His presence and I will be healed. His grace is sufficient so I tell my story to give strength to someone else.
Even though right now I’m in tears telling you my story, it’ll all be over one day when we meet Him face-to-face. We will be home. Finally home…..
Photos for Rebecca
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