Made for This Moment
A few years into motherhood, I was living out monotony like a boring version of Groundhog Day. I finish wiping the bottom of child #1, and as I’m walking up the stairs to get a clean pair of underwear, child #2 yells out “I’m done!,” the familiar call “Mom!” Diverted to the other bathroom, I get a view of a destroyed bedroom - the one I spent 30 minutes cleaning only minutes before. I hear the dryer downstairs beep, another noise calling for my attention. I trudge downstairs, hearing the call of little voices in unison, “I’m hungry.” Just two minutes of the day, but on repeat with slight variations and you get a vision of what my life currently looks like.
Monotony can sap you of vision, hope, joy. I grasped for anything to bring me the excitement that used to be a part of my life. I convinced myself that I wasn’t doing something right, that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom and that I must be failing because I wasn’t making any visible “progress” in life.
A wise friend asked me, “Do you believe God made you specifically to be the mom to your two children?” I couldn’t answer the way that I knew I should. I felt like I had been mismatched with this life. But when I read Psalm 139:13-16 and Jeremiah 1:5, I can’t deny that God has a perfect plan and design for each one of us, myself included. So my life was not mismatched, it was designed to humble me, rely on God and teach my children about Jesus. It’s embarrassing to admit, but it was easier spiritually for me to work through the grief of losing a close friend than to drudge into a place of contentment. But the truth of God’s word keeps me centered: I was made for this.
Knowing and believing God has made me for this exact moment has led me to a place of joy! I hold onto a vision of my daughters growing into mature, loving followers of Christ. Some days, I need more support in the form of community. Other days, I need a long, quiet walk to hash it out with my Father to get my heart on track with His plan and a daily renewing of my mind to focus on the joy of being his daughter and the honor of being able to teach these precious children about the love of God.
Photos for Angie
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